Do You Care Too Much?
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Meet my neighbor, Allison. She is constantly telling me about her teenage son, Zach. “If he would just pull up his grades… he needs to pay closer attention to what we tell him…. if he was just more interested in life…..” Allison has a list of what Zach should do that he isn’t doing and reminds him about it daily because, as she says, “I care.”
The origins of the word “care” (from online etymology.com) center on anxiety and serious mental attention. To be “careful” is to be full of woe or concern. Interestingly enough, the origin of the verb “to care” means to be filled with anxiety and to be “careless” is to be free from anxiety.
This type of caring is really all about fear. If you strip back the personal details surrounding Allison and Zach, her manner of caring simply says: I care, and so when you begin to act the way I think you should I will feel better. Until then I will be the only one who cares enough about you to worry, and to voice my disappointment no matter how bad it makes me feel.
Does any of this sound familiar? If you want to be free from anxiety is the solution not caring? To me not caring doesn’t sound much better than caring and being gripped by fear. I’d like to propose the act of caring in a different light. Caring without fear. To begin caring without fear, forget about caring for others. Direct all of your caring inward toward yourself. Sound selfish? Not really….
First, be care-full. Be full of care about what you say, do, and think because you are (you’ve heard this before) the sole creator of your universe. You are the steward of the human body you inhabit. What you decide is true (the stories you tell yourself) about what happens to you and around you has a tremendous impact on your health, wealth, and all your relationships. It is well worth the effort to be care-full.
When we tell ourselves stories that fuel anxiety, and when we repeat those stories so many times that we believe they’re true, we become care-less. Being care-less causes the loss of the most important thing we possess: the power to change what we have the power to change (what we believe everything means).
Again, begin by directing all of your caring toward yourself. Be care-full and see what it is like to care without fear. Accomplishing that see how delightful it is to fearlessly care about all the wonderous LIFE that whirls around you.
BeliefWorks,
Ray Dodd
http://www.powerofbelief.com
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