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My dog, a tuxedo border collie named Luna, has some perplexing yet amazing behavior. When I ask her if she wants to “go” - she gets excited, runs in figure eights around the yard, and leaps into the back of my car. However, if I ask her if she wants to “go”, but have no intention of taking her with me, she ducks as I grab for her collar and it’s a full-on game of chase. When I try to use “do you want to go” ploy to capture her when I need to leave but can’t take her with me , it NEVER works!

So, how does the dog know?

Although it’s frustrating, I have a pretty good idea of what’s going on. Animals are highly keyed into our true intent. Let me clarify: what you mean to do (even before you do it) is your intent. I can’t explain it any other way other than saying that intent is the energy you exude that precedes the action that you are about to take. I can’t fool the dog because she can perceive my intent (are we going or not?) even though I play-act as if we are going for a ride.

This idea of intent is critical when trying to master the power of belief. An example: Let’s say you’re going on a job interview. The night before the interview you look in the mirror and use positive self-talk until you are sure you’ll get the job. But when you get to the interview the next day you’re nervous and not all that confident. What happened? Simple. There’s a big conflict between your intention and your intent. Your intention is what you have in mind: I’m going to great at this interview – they’re going to hire me! Your intent is a perfect reflection of what you actually believe and is often in conflict with what you think you believe.

I talk to so many people who tell me they want abundance in their lives, but they are full of stories of woe, victims of forces so much bigger than themselves. When asked to take any risk they reality-check themselves out of taking any action. They may think they believe in abundance but their intent is broadcasting a very different message.

Whatever you believe broadcasts a harmonizing intent. Sure, there are many forces at work out in the world, but what you emanate has a tremendous impact on what you will create for yourself. Pay attention to your intent and if it’s not aligned with what you say you believe, then change it. Change your intent consciously and it will change the very shape what you believe.

BeliefWorks,

Ray Dodd
http://www.powerofbelief.com

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• Try a complimentary 30 Minute Telephone Session: Change the World - Change Your World - One Belief at a Time. Explore the advantages of working one-on-one with a BeliefWorks Mentor.

• Buy BeliefWorks and get the BeliefWorks Practice E-Book Free: Purchase BeliefWorks this month and we will give you the BeliefWorks Practice E-Book at NO EXTRA CHARGE.

• Inspiring BeliefWorks Art Prints: Great as a gift or for yourself, high-quality inspiring art prints.

Property of PowerofBelief.com 2010. All rights reserved. Reprint rights are granted to all venues so long as the article and by-line are reprinted intact.

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The holidays are coming up fast along with the added stress of trying to get just the right gift, crowded shopping malls, traffic jams, holiday parties, and the obligation to show up at family get-togethers. With all that running around chances are you’re going to run into someone who pushes your buttons. You know, one of those difficult people.

Many times the struggles we have with other people boil down to who’s right and who’s wrong. But isn’t right and wrong just a matter of perception? Perhaps the conflict is not always about their behavior but about the way we react to their behavior. We each have the unique ability to assign meaning to someone else’s behavior that leaves us offended. It is our interpretation that defines them as difficult. Think about it. The most difficult person in your life could be someone else’s confidant, lover, or friend.

Each of us has a slightly different take on reality. If there are twelve jurors listening to the same arguments, hearing the same evidence they often have a hard time reaching a verdict because they rarely perceive what goes on in exactly the same way. Keep that in mind when dealing with your brand of difficult person.

Difficult people abound, sometimes only for you….. and yes I’ll admit…sometimes they are perceived as difficult by everyone around them. Perhaps the way they act is off-base. You’re right, they ARE difficult – but is that helping you feel better?

Here are ten useful tips you can use this holiday season (and beyond) to help you meet the challenge of dealing with the difficult people in your life.

1. Give Up The Need To Be Right. What you perceive maybe accurate, but protracted battles and arguments that go nowhere are all about being right. Agree to disagree with respect. Take action that supports what you want to accomplish. If you need to establish boundaries do so but give up your need to be right. Why? Because it feels good.
2. Don’t Assume Anything. Whether you have know someone for a long time or you just met, you really don’t know exactly what motivates them,or precisely how they bend their reality moment to moment. Give up assuming why they did or said something. Ask questions and don’t assume ANYTHING.
3. Let Go of your Expectations. Having expectations about who should do what and how it should be done is a recipe for crisis. Let go of your expectation that one specific outcome is the only way you will be satisfied. If you hold on to the belief….Every thing will be okay when they…….. you may wait an awful long time for when. An expectation is your assumption about what is SUPPOSED to happen. We gave up assumptions in tip number 2, remember?
4. It’s NOT Personal. Everyone lives in a unique virtual reality created by his or her beliefs, experiences and agreements. You are only a minor character in their movie and how they react to you is NOT about you. No matter what anyone says or does, remember - it’s not personal.
5. Ask for What You Want. Ask for what you want rather than telling that difficult person what they are not doing right. Use “I” statements rather than “you” statements. When you accuse, defend or criticize you sound like a victim. A victim is powerless faced with a “difficult person.” Is that what you want?
6. Listen Effectively. Do you ever formulate what you are going to say next while the other person is still talking? Are you really paying attention to what is being said, or half listening and filling in the blanks? Do you frequently interrupt others before they finish speaking? In order to avoid conflict, listen and acknowledge what the other person is saying. If they recognize they are heard it can go along way to diffusing a conflict.
7. Be Detached. Let’s say someone is difficult. No doubt about it. Everyone agrees. That perception may be accurate but now what? If you have done all the right things Steps 1 thru 6 above) – and nothing changes be prepared to walk away. All communication is by agreement. Engaging in an argument is a choice. Rather than argue or defend, if you don’t agree move on and focus your attention elsewhere. Do this not because you’re right, but because it feels right.
8. Respect Their Story. Like you they have a story too - a unique perception of how everything is. It’s their story. And they have a right to it and deserve your respect even if you totally disagree. Respect their story and don’t try to change it. Enjoy them just as they are. That’s what you want too, isn’t it?
9. Put On Their Shoes. By not making assumptions, giving up expectations, asking questions, and listing effectively you can start to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. Each response they have is really about what they believe. The literal meaning of they say might not be as important as the driving belief behind the response. Once you see that (and it’s not about you at all) any conflict will begin to evaporate.
10. Give Up the Need to Be Right (again). What one person does to irritate you may not bother others. Is it possible that YOU are the one being difficult? This tip is so powerful it bears repeating. To diffuse the conflict, give up your need to be right. Why? Simply because it feels so good.

BeliefWorks,

Ray Dodd
http://www.everydaywisdom.us

Home - Free Stuff - Store

• Try a complimentary 30 Minute Telephone Session: Change the World - Change Your World - One Belief at a Time. Explore the advantages of working one-on-one with a BeliefWorks Mentor.

• Buy BeliefWorks and get the BeliefWorks Practice E-Book Free: Purchase BeliefWorks this month and we will give you the BeliefWorks Practice E-Book at NO EXTRA CHARGE.

• Inspiring BeliefWorks Art Prints: Great as a gift or for yourself, high-quality inspiring art prints.

Property of everydayWisdom.us 2008. All rights reserved. Reprint rights are granted to all venues so long as the article and by-line are reprinted intact.

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Belief at Work: How your beliefs affect the work you do.

One common problem people perceive they have at work is that they are not being recognized, or appreciated for the job they do.

JKR from the UK writes: “I just got passed over for a promotion in favor of a brown-nosing self-promoter. I spend my time working, rather than playing around and playing politics, but apparently that doesn’t matter any more. I have to admit, I’m feeling a whole range of very painful emotions. Is it possible to get ahead without sucking up?”

Arriving at a real solution to a problem like this requires that you look at your beliefs about your situation at work.From what she wrote, it appears that JKR believes she is doing her very best and it’s not good enough. Her interpretation of the situation, believing people perceive her inadequate, is understandably very painful. It hurts because it reflects the way she feels about herself.

Belief is a filter we see the world through populated by our personal laws about how things are. What I suggest is start using the power of belief, consciously. There are two elements required to invoke the power of belief - action and being.

Let’s start with action: Move forward in a calm and assertive manner in the direction of what you’re trying to accomplish. She wants a promotion, right? Well, moving into a position of greater responsibility takes people skill and greater skill at the work. If you got passed over for that promotion, be honest with yourself about where you are today in your personal and work skills and stop blaming others. Remember, a victim never has any power.

Next, let’s look at the part about being: The only thing you have total control over is what you decide is true about what happens to you. You will NEVER be able to completely control how others react to you. If you expect them to behave in a certain way you’ll find yourself in constant reaction and crisis. The belief that - I do my very best and it’s never good enough- is an old lie that will never get you what you want. Watch within yourself for stories (created by what you believe) that aren’t helping you to achieve what you really want and change them.

BeliefWorks,

Ray Dodd, author, The Power of Belief

http://www.everydaywisdom.us